On the Verge of a Christian State

There is always a bittersweet feeling I get inside when I go visit my parents.  It's not so much a result of my parents, but the city in which I go visit them.  Merced is definitely not a very liberal part of California.  In fact, the county voted 71% in favor of Proposition 8.  So going to Merced is always eventful since I am the one of the most "out" gays in the city--I've been on the front page of their newspaper several times already.  Driving through town with my "No On 8" bumper sticker usually attracts reactions, occasional dirty looks, and of course, the yelling of the word "fag."  All of which I have learned to respond to in a healthy non-violent way.

This past Thanksgiving was no different when I went to Merced to be with my family for the holiday.  People honked at our car, I could see people stop to stare in parking lots, etc.  Well after a very stuffing Thanksgiving dinner my partner and I took a walk.  It was saddening that people stared in disgust as we held hands, but we held ourselves well.  As we continued our walk we found something that had left us speechless.  It wasn't the dirty looks.  It was a fence that had been tagged with spray paint.  In bold white letters, "Romans 1:27" was displayed on the fence.  I was speechless because I was not expecting a fence to have such a verse on it.  The fence didn't belong to a certain house or was facing anything really of significance.  But there it was in plain view for anyone to see who was walking by.  I was filled with many emotions. I was sad, angry, even ashamed.  I wanted to respond to this fence.  I wanted to add affirmation, but I really didn't know how to.  I wanted to spray paint Ephesians 4:2-6 over it, but with my luck I would have gotten busted for vandalism--it would have been worth it in my opinion.  I will actually be sending in an Op-Ed to the local newspaper as a response to the fence though.

But why was it written in the first place?  Of all the verses to put up why this one?  I admit it was a better selection than Leviticus 18:22, since Leviticus is often overused.  But are we at a point now in society where we begin to post religious "laws" in public in order to condemn people?  Are we on the verge of a Christian state?  The cult of persecution is dominating in our culture.  Not to go off on a slippery slope fallacy, but what's next?  Curfews, executions of the homosexuals and the artistic, and the subjugation of women again?  It is the messages of untruth and intolerance and persecution that we need to stand up against.  It starts with a fence, but lets make sure lives don't end up ending on a fence.  Let action begin.  The abuse and misuse of scriptures hurt people, so share what these scriptures have done and what they do in your lives.

Justice Alliance Merced Concert

I Brought It Home! Presentation In My Hometown

I'm a little behind on this post, so I apologize, I have been too busy with midterms and figuring out where the heck I'm transferring to in the fall. But amidst the craziness in my academic schedule, I have found time to actually continue bringing about messages of truth, love, and inclusion to areas that don't always get word of that. I am referring to my recent presentation I made at Merced College (in my hometown) last week.

The day before the presentation and film screening, there was an article in our local newspaper, the Merced Sun-Star, that discussed the film briefly, but also focused on the different events Vince and I have been a part of including the Equality Ride and beyond.

Documentary illustrates deep-rooted homophobia. Putting a human face on homosexuality, religion and marriage is easier said than done. Vince Pancucci, 21, and Vincent Cervantes, 20, can speak to that statement. And they will -- in depth Thursday evening at Merced College's film night. Read article.

A year ago, the Sun-Star did a feature article on us and the Equality Ride. The article that was written in 2007 received lots of criticism and harsh Letters to the Editor. This year, surprisingly enough, there was a lot affirmation coming out of the article from people in the community. Granted yes, that were comments that suggested that reparative therapy is the only solution to homosexuality and that we should be ashamed. I cordially responded with my experiences with "ex-gay" therapy and how these programs tend to do more harm than good. I even made reference to the article written by Peterson Toscano, where he outlined the different ways that conversion therapies do harm. After the article and presentation, Letters to the Editor rolled in to share their belief that homosexuality is wrong and not in God's created intent for humankind. None of which I have replied to.

The night of the presentation could be summed up in one word: amazing. The film, "Tying The Knot," was great. The dates, events, and court cases are outdated now, but the film gave a good look into the struggles that same-gender couples have to encounter on a day-to-day basis. Vince and I gave our presentation after the film. We discussed our "ex-gay" experiences (why we chose to do it and the harm that it caused), our coming out experience at Azusa Pacific University, and our experiences in activism (Equality Ride, Right to Serve, "ex-gay" survivor movements, etc.). We kept our presentation short and concise with the intention of allotting a good amount of time for Q&A. Which was the best part. I was impressed with the questions that were asked. The questions ranged from why we compare the gay rights movement to the civil rights movement; to the scriptures; to what we hope government will do; and so many more.

After the event ended, many stayed around to just converse with Vince and I. I was overwhelmed with joy and happiness by the number of married same-gender couples that came up to introduce themselves to us. I would have never known that there were queer families in Merced. It was shocking. I also met with several retired pastors in the area who at one point used to preach that homosexuality was sinful, but have recently come to new understandings about what the Bible really says about homosexuality. One of them will start blogging soon about his new understandings.

All in all, I was surprised and really, really happy with the outcome of the event and how everything came about. I am keeping in contact with many of the people I met, so that together we can build up the LGBTQ community here in Merced. It was a blessing. Thank you all for your prayers on this!

Nostaligia

It has been a while since I've posted, but that's been intentional. I often find that I'm the type of person that takes on more than they handle all at once. For the past couple of weeks, I've been working on getting major items off checked off my to-do list.

I spent this past weekend at Azusa Pacific University with my best friends. Being on-campus all weekend definitely made me feel a variety of emotions. I've been to APU on short little visits, just to say "Hi," but never to actually stay an entire weekend. I had an amazing time with my friends, it really felt good to get away from Merced and to be surrounded by some of the people that mean the most to me. But the entire time I was there, I couldn't get over the butterflies that were in my stomach of being back at APU. It felt like a thousand eyes were watching me at once and whispering, "He's the one..." When I gave my name for my coffee order at Starbucks, the barista replied, "You're famous." That was awkward. But perhaps the most awkward was when people asked if went there and I gave the open-ended response of, "I used to." Part of me was afraid to say anymore.

By the end of the weekend, APU once again felt like my home though. It was like the good ol' days of going to my friends' apartment and laying around being random and silly. I truly mean it when I say I miss what I had while at APU.

But on a different note:

This Thursday (March 6), Vince and I will be the guest speakers at a film screening here in Merced. The film is "Tying the Knot," which will focus on the inequality of marriage. Following the film will be us, we will be sharing our ex-gay experiences, experiences with activism, etc.

For those of you in the area:
Merced College, Room V-140
Thursday Night, March 6
7:00pm-9:00pm

I will post a review of how everything goes down. Keep us in your thoughts and prayers. We are a little nervous about this one, as Merced as a reputation of breeding some "interesting" people.

The Calling

I've been in prayer about quite a few things lately. For a while though, I've been really meditating on something that I feel God has called me to, but I just haven't been able to figure out how to respond to it.

I am in my last 8 months here in Merced, California (I'll be going to California State Polytechnic University-Pomona). Which is both a blessing and a mildly sad thing for me. It would be a blessing because I have planned most of my high school career to leave Merced and do my best to never return--that plan didn't exactly work out well. But mildly sad, since I know I won't live in Merced again after this (well that is my plan at least).

Since I've come out of the closet and became an activist that actively seeks to bring communities together and bring about human equality and social justice, I have to admit that I have done very little within my own community of Merced. Which brings me to what I feel God has been calling me to: until I leave in August/September, I plan to dedicate myself to working in the area and giving something back to the Merced and surrounding LGBTQ communities.

Because the LGBTQ community is somewhat underground in this overstimulated conservative former "cow-town," I know it is going to be a partial challenge as to finding the needs of the queer community. The route I'm looking at, would be working towards getting a community center that would serve as a resource center for education, information, outreach, and support. Given that I will only be here until August/September, I don't know if I will have a full up-and-running center by then, but I would like to have things on the roll and ready to hand over to someone to keep the dream going.

This is going to involve working heavily with the LGBTQ community and surrounding Pride centers (ie. Stanislaus Pride Center). I will need help! I don't exactly know where to begin, as I have never done this before. I can use support and prayer! Shoot me an email at vdcervantes@gmail.com if you have some advice or anything.

My Merced

Throughout high school I always thought that Merced (my current location, well at least for two more weeks) was a rather progressive and liberal place, but I suppose I just had lots of liberal and open-minded friends. So often I forget about the oppression and discrimination that exists in my own community.

Recently there was an incident at the University of California-Merced campus where the administration had to respond to hateful messages written by students: over 70 white boards displayed offensive drawings and racist and anti-gay epithets. Although this happened in the beginning of the month, I am still in astonishment. A small group of students were found as the culprits. The Executive Vice Chancellor and Provost sent an email out to the entire student body:

"This act of vandalism not only demonstrated a lack of respect for the campus' physical space, but more importantly, a lack of respect for principles that are core to our university," the e-mail stated.

"The writing on the walls included degrading racial slurs and offensive statements about sexuality specifically targeted at our gay and lesbian students. This behavior violates the university's Principles of Community; principles to which we all ascribed when we chose to attend or work at UC Merced. Our principles talk of integrity, fairness and intellectual excellence. They were ignored in this cowardly act," the e-mail continued.

Merced Sun-Star

I live rather close to the UC Merced campus, so it totally shocked me when I heard of this incident. I can imagine the fear and frustration the LGBTQ community of UC Merced must be feeling. I get that same feeling when I go for my evening walks and fall victim to drive-by "fag-ings." It's not a safe feeling. UC Merced does need to work towards education for their students on the issues like homosexualiy, racism, etc. I want Merced to be a safe place for the gay community that exists here. I am saddened by how underground the LGBTQ community of Merced is though.

I'm willing to offer myself as peformance activist and a Merced native to speak to UC Merced and in the community. I am here to be a resource. It makes me sad that I am leaving in two weeks, knowing that our community isn't as progressive as I would like it be.