The Anarchist Reverend, in conjunction with the Sanctuary Collective Empowerment Project, has called upon bloggers and writers to share in a synchroblog on queer theology. Thinking about how I wanted to begin to creatively reflect on such a task of writing a queer theology, I was immediately taken back to when I was planning a queer chapel service at Harvard Divinity School.
My queer friends and I gathered to plan a chapel service that would be hosted by the LGBTQ student group. As we thought about how we would order the service, what message, songs, and 'scripture' we wanted to share during this time of worship and fellowship, we were left with one question: What is queer worship?
After moments of sitting in silence while we all tried to think of some sophisticated and thoughtful way of responding, we all, almost unison, all blurted out: SEX! This response couldn’t be more appropriate and it’s the theme I wish to reflect on in this queer theology synchroblog.
Last week a New York Times article shared the personal story of a gay friend turned "ex-gay." As a young man, Michael Glatze seemed very happy and at peace with who he was as a gay-identified individual. Until after some life changing events, he no longer felt that homosexuality was a natural disposition, nor an acceptable identity.
As I read through the article I could see myself in Michael's story. As an ex-gay survivor I once felt and believed the same things he explains as to why he chose to go ex-gay.
Sadly, our stories are not unique and isolated experiences. However, the reasons why Michael chose to go ex-gay and my own reasons do differ quite a bit. But again, even his reasons for going ex-gay is not unique. While religion and theology may play a role in convincing some that homosexuality is a sin and in need of repair, there is usually more at work in the decision to put oneself through reparative therapy.
In the past weeks, I've been doing some writing away from my blog, so I thought it'd be useful to at least share the links to said writings. First, I've been thinking about my coming out experience lately, and how I felt confused and very vulnerable as a Christian trying to understand my same-sex attractions. Through this reflection on my long and difficult journey out of the closet, I wrote an article on encouraging Bible verses for LGBTQ folk working their way out of the closet.
Recently I've also written a poem reflecting on religion and power as a queer person. This is the very first time I've ever publicly shared one of my poems. As I work more within the genre of creative writing (poetry, short stories, etc.) I thought sharing this piece would be a step in the right direction.
A lastly, I wrote an article on some of the changes ahead for LGBTQ life at Harvard through my own perceptions as a queer Harvard student.
I presented a lecture titled, "Scripture, Spirituality, and Sexuality" at the University of California, Riverside on Thursday, November 12, 2009. My objective was to bring clarity to both Christian and LGBTQ persons on how we are able to reconcile our religious identities with our sexual orientations. My presentation brings light to Judaism, Christianity, and Islam. The slides from my lecture are available for download, click here.
It's one thing that a lot of anti-gay Christians seem to think that I cannot be gay and be a Christian. But lately I've gotten a lot of resistance from the gay community! It really feels like reverse discrimination. Here are the responses and questions I get on a regular basis:
"Why are you a religious studies major? But you're gay...."
"Why would you go to church, you're gay?"
"You want to be a pastor? You're gay though..."
It's so disheartening that I meet so many gay and lesbian people that tell me I can't be gay and be a Christian. The irony is that they are saying the EXACT same thing that anti-gay Christians are saying, that there is no such thing as gay Christians. So what is makes them any different from one another? Both groups are sending a negative message. Both groups are not helping closeted, questioning, and confused people that are trying to understand their identity within the context of their faith.
But what does this mean for us gay Christians? We are forced into this third category, like we're special cases or something. A binary system has been set up between being gay and being a Christian. That is not inclusion.
You can be gay and be a Christian. If you don't think so then you clearly don't understand the definition of being a Christian or being gay. Neither one cancels the other out. So lets stop this exclusion, because all it does is confuse those people that are trying to reconcile their faith and their sexuality, and they can't because there are uneducated people relaying false information that causes harm and confusion.
I have wanted to avoid discussing the Leviticus passage, only because I find it to be an outdated argument (along with Sodom and Gomorrah) that you only see on the signs of the Westboro Baptist Church, but recently, it's been appearing in emails and messages to me more frequently than has in the past. I received a video response on YouTube to my "Bible and Marriage" video that decided to focus entirely on Leviticus 18 (click here to watch the response), so I decided that I would finally write on Leviticus and share what my own thoughts and perceptions are of the text.
Let's start with a background of Leviticus and the Torah: sorta of a historical, local, and cultural contextual analysis.
Covenant with Abraham: There were 3 parts (Genesis 15:5, 18; 17:11)
* Progeny, promised land, circumcision as symbol
Genealogy: Abraham - Isaac - Jacob (Israel)
Captivity, liberation and exodus - 10 weeks to Mount Sinai, where they commit idolatry
The Israelites were made to wander for 40 years post-exodus
* Holiness Code (Leviticus 19:2): 17-26 (miscellany of laws)
- idolatry, sexual conduct, celebration rites
- information about familiars, strangers, promises, penalties
Now, I know these are just some very basic notes about the background, but really, there is so much information out there about the Torah and the background of the Google culture that I don't really need to go too much into depth about, only because it's all only a search away. Basically though, the Israelites has been slaves in Egypt; they had wandered in the desert for a long long time. They needed cohesiveness, cleanliness, and order in every aspect of their lives. they needed a establish a social contract that would give them their own identity; they needed a code for living. In response, they developed a Holiness Code to define their religious, civic, and cultural identity.
The Holiness Code's purpose was to help this community achieve the "holy purity" that they were seeking. So how would they try to achieve this holy purity?
Israel's worship practices had to be different from their neighbors.
There could not be an mixing of any kind with other groups, because they were to maintain and preserve the purity of their community.
Male gender superiority had to be maintained
Number 3 is what is going to bring us to the infamous, "Thou shall not lay with mankind as with womankind it is an abomination" verse found in Leviticus 18:22 and 20:13. But lets focus on why this was an issue. Why condemn men that were having sex with other men? Well, first of all, engaging in homosexual acts was punishable by death, because that would mean that man was assuming a "passive' role and was being penetrated, which was a role that was only to be assigned to women. This was a culture that valued machismo ideologies and subjugated women because they were viewed as "less than." Thus, the issue with men having sex with men was really a result of their oppression towards women.
But what about this word "abomination" that appears in the text? The Hebrew word toevah, that is being used for "abomination," actually refers to something that is ritually impure, such as pork or having sex with a woman while she is menstruating. So, "abomination" is synonymous with unclean.
There are other ways of addressing these texts. One could even bring up the issue and contrasts of the old and new covenants. But this is a could jumping board for addressing Leviticus. There are many great resources out there if you want to read more on Leviticus. I personally recommend, "Jesus, the Bible, and Homosexuality" by Jack Rogers, which has received excellent reviews for his scholarship. I welcome conversation on this text. I know I gave a very basic opinion and that was intentional, only because there are other resources out there for those that are more interested in this part of the Bible.
I came across an article at CampusProgress.org about a student from Brown University, who went undercover at Liberty University to conduct a field study of Christian colleges. Kevin Roose (the student), then wrote a book about his experiences at Liberty. Roose talks about Christian education, conservative Christian views on homosexuality, and why the "God divide" is overblown.
The book is "The Unlikely Disciple: A Sinner's Semester at America's Holiest University;" naturally, I was intrigued by the book, given the topic being discussed. Being a former student of a Christian university, I am very interested in reading about Roose's experiences. I haven't read the whole book yet, I have only been able to read some excerpts. My actual book copy was just ordered from Amazon.
An editorial review from Booklist reports:
Brown University student Roose didn’t think of himself as being particularly religious, yet he conceived the novel idea of enrolling at Liberty University, the school Jerry Falwell built, thereby transferring from a school “a notch or two above Sodom and Gomorrah” to the evangelical equivalent of Notre Dame or Brigham Young. His reasons were logical, though curious. To him, a semester at Liberty was like studying abroad. “Here, right in my time zone, was a culture more foreign to me than any European capital.” He tells his story entertainingly, as a matter of trying to blend in and not draw too much attention to himself. One hardened habit he had to break was cursing; he even bought a Christian self-help book to tame his tongue. Throughout his time at Liberty, he stayed level-headed, nuanced, keenly observant. He meant to find some gray in the black-and-white world of evangelicalism, and he learned a few things. His stint at Liberty hardly changed the world but did alter his way at looking at it. That’s a start.
I think this book is going to be a great read. I expect that the author is going to be very honest about his feelings and his emotions. When he arrived at Liberty, many of the students asked him why he left Brown. He responded that he wanted to know what it was like to go to a Christian college. And it's true. After I read the book I hope to compare and contrast his experiences to my own.
I am currently finishing up a book by Heather Hendershot titled, Shaking The World For Jesus: Media and Conservative Evangelical Culture. In this book Hendershot looks at the "center" of conservative evangelical culture, primarily though the white middle-class. This is an excellent book to read especially if you've grown up in an evangelical setting like I have. The book is divided into three sections; the first section discusses the "commodification" part of evangelical culture, such as Christian cultural products, films, shows, and contemporary Christian music. The second section discusses sexuality, a very interesting that I want to talk about. In the first chapter of this section, Hendershot discusses the chastity movement within evangelical culture, such as the True Love Waits campaign. And the second chapter of the section examines the Cathedral of Hope, the world's largest LGBTQ church, as well as focusing on ex-gay survivors that are still Christians and how they have reconciled their faith with their sexual orientation after having experienced reparative therapy.
Hendershot raises a very important issue through this section of her book: sexuality, when discussed in evangelical media, is very one-sided. Discussions about marriage, chastity, and sexual control remain reserved only for heterosexual Christians, while mainstream Christian videos, books, and magazines reject LGBTQ Christians.
During my high school years, I remember reading the upcoming topics in the bulletin that would be coming up in youth group. The topic of "Sex" would usually catch my eye, as it did for the other hormonal teenagers. It was always an interesting topic and it was addressed in different ways throughout my four years of high school. Sometimes they would separate the boys and girls, other times we would remain together by on different sides of the room, and I think one time we were able to intermingle. We were reminded that our bodies are temples and they are sacred, etc. Also that sex is a beautiful, wonderful, amazing thing, that God gives us so we can experience it ONLY when we are married. High school did a better job talking about sex than college did for me--in college the guys were they were out of control horny pigs and women fear us for that reason.
One year, if I remember correctly it was my junior year, we were presented with True Love Wait commitment cards! These cards were a contract between us and God that committed us to abstinence until marriage. The direct lines on the card were:
Believing that true love waits, I make a commitment to God, myself, my family, my friends, my future mate, and my future children to a lifetime of purity including sexual abstinence from this day until the day I enter a biblical marriage relationship.
We were also to choose an accountability partner that we could turn to if we were feeling tempted; however, my accountability partner did not do a very good job keeping me accountable...
This contract I made with God served many problems for me. I was to abstain from sexual activity "until the day I enter a biblical marriage." Although some of my youth pastors never explicitly talked about homosexuality being sinful during youth group services, they certainly placed a lot of emphasis on what the Bible said about marriage. They always discussed the nuclear model for marriage and there was no other alternative. Part of my difficulty accepting my queer identity was due to my desire to want to get married and have a family. Unfortunately the family portrait that was painted for me did not include two dads.
As Valentine's Day is approaching I can only imagine how many youth groups will be having their sex talks with their students. I can only imagine how many True Love Waits cards will be signed. In a way, I can support the idea of sexual abstinence until one enters into marriage or a committed partnership--the safest sex is no sex after all. However, I cannot support a one-sided message. It is not okay for LGBTQ youth to have feel like they're outsiders when evangelical chastity media comes out. It is also not okay for LGBTQ youth to not be presented with the option to have a beautiful family with whomever they choose to be their partner. True love knows no gender.
The ex-gay movement and its survivors become the focus of the latest segment of "In The Life;" the segment draws on the stories of ex-gay survivors and faith leaders. The Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference that was held in Irvine, California is also featured in this segment; sharing the process that many of us have gone through to begin healing the hurts and wounds that were left through our experiences in ex-gay therapy.
The segment shows a few clips of me sharing parts of my ex-gay experience. It was recorded at a time that I was just beginning to become comfortable with sharing that part of my life with other people. My hope was that my story would serve as a witness to the many men and women, young and old, that consider the thought that they are unholy and unworthy of God's love because they are LGBTQ. Today, that is still my hope and goal of sharing my story, wherever that may be. Follow the link to view the segment!
The Story of Sodom and Gomorrah has been used and overused to condemn homosexuality in the Church. It is surprising actually that it still used today by many Christians, when many theologians have agreed that the Story of Sodom and Gomorrah isn't really a story about sexuality. But it still comes up as an argument against homosexuality, so I decided to share my two cents...
Sodom was not about sex. And if it were, it still really wouldn’t be about sex.
Sodom's sins range from inhospitality and opulence to adultery and strengthening the hand of evil.
Ezekiel 16:48-49 says that the sins of these two cities are said to be excess of wealth, failure to provide for the poor, and inhospitality. The materialistic nature of the residents of Sodom and Gomorrah is exemplified by what happened to Lot’s wife. She looked back at the city, longing for the possessions she had left behind. Consequently, she was petrified, or turned into a pillar of salt as the story goes.
Isaiah 19:13 compares Sodom and Gomorrah to Babylon, the glory of kingdoms, thus making ungodly pride the crux of their immorality.
Deuteronomy 29:23 mentions that Admah and Zeboiim were also destroyed due to God’s wrath. The account of Sodom and Gomorrah is important in that it introduces Israel’s rival relatives from across the Jordan and east of the Dead Sea. The children born of the incestuous rape of Lot are Moab, which means ‘son of my father’, and Ben-Ammi or Ammon, which means son of my kin. The tribes born of them were constantly in conflict with the Israelites. Zephaniah 2:9 compares Moab (Moabites) to Sodom and Ammon (Ammonites) to Gomorrah. Thus, important historical context and genealogical reference was provided by the often misunderstood account of Sodom and Gomorrah.
Genesis 14:8-11 – Defeated warring nations included Sodom and Gomorrah.
Genesis 18:33 – Clearly, homosexuals did not comprise two entire towns. God promises Abraham that he would spare the city on account of ten righteous souls – not heterosexual.
Genesis 19:3 – Lot presses the Angels strongly to sojourn with him because he saw their staying the night in a public location as a precarious risk.
Genesis 19:8 – “They have come under the shadow of my roof.” Lot was charged with the protection of the angel messengers.
Matthew 10:13-15 – Jesus referred to Sodom and Gomorrah. His focus, however, was on how to deal with inhospitality. If his disciples were not welcomed as guests, despite being strangers, they were to shake the dust off of their feet. He continued to say that the punishment for those who rejected them would be worse than it was for Sodom and Gomorrah.
Furthermore, there are several linguistic inconsistencies when dealing with the Sodom and Gomorrah story.
Implication of Sexual Sins:
In Jude 1:7, fornication and the desiring of “strange flesh” is mentioned as the sin of Sodom.
With that in mind, there are several important facts to consider:
The angels with whom the men wanted to fornicate were not human.
Sexual intimacy between humans and angels was condemned earlier in the Genesis. Prior to the great deluge, spirit creatures took corporeal form to have sexual relations with people. The result was a race of genetic hybrids that terrorized the human population.
If fornication is implied, the men of the city wanted to forcibly know the angels, or gang-rape them. Rape is a violent crime that has little to do with loving expression and does not reflect sexual orientation or identity. Genesis 19:9
But fornication clearly was not the core of their iniquity. Lot later had sex with his daughters while intoxicated after being spared by God.
According to Genesis 19:8, Lot offered his virgin daughters to the crowd, possibly as valuable sacrifices.
The men of Sodom and Gomorrah believed the angels to be spies. Their greed and their selfish concern with their wealth led to such thoughts. Therefore, their inhospitality and deviant intentions were fueled by greed.
And finally, the term heterosexual is derived from the term Greek sarkos heteras, which has been translated into strange flesh, perversion, and unnatural lust.
The Men of the City
The word ‘enowsh is used in Genesis 19:4, and is the first reference to the ‘men’ of the city. In actuality, it refers to any mortal in general. The following sentence says ‘even the men of the city’, specifically referring to the masculine gender. In verse 5, Sodom residents ask for the ‘enowsh so that they may know them.
And in verse 8 when describing his daughters as virgins, Lot uses the more definite ‘iysh to refer to men.
Knowing "To Know"
The Hebrew word yada, used to suggest a desire to know the men sexually, appears 943 times in the Hebrew text. All but 11 were used in the sense of literally becoming acquainted with strangers. 10 of those 11 times were used in clear reference to heterosexual sex. The word shakab more vividly and specifically denotes sexual relations.
There is always a bittersweet feeling I get inside when I go visit my parents. It's not so much a result of my parents, but the city in which I go visit them. Merced is definitely not a very liberal part of California. In fact, the county voted 71% in favor of Proposition 8. So going to Merced is always eventful since I am the one of the most "out" gays in the city--I've been on the front page of their newspaper several times already. Driving through town with my "No On 8" bumper sticker usually attracts reactions, occasional dirty looks, and of course, the yelling of the word "fag." All of which I have learned to respond to in a healthy non-violent way.
This past Thanksgiving was no different when I went to Merced to be with my family for the holiday. People honked at our car, I could see people stop to stare in parking lots, etc. Well after a very stuffing Thanksgiving dinner my partner and I took a walk. It was saddening that people stared in disgust as we held hands, but we held ourselves well. As we continued our walk we found something that had left us speechless. It wasn't the dirty looks. It was a fence that had been tagged with spray paint. In bold white letters, "Romans 1:27" was displayed on the fence. I was speechless because I was not expecting a fence to have such a verse on it. The fence didn't belong to a certain house or was facing anything really of significance. But there it was in plain view for anyone to see who was walking by. I was filled with many emotions. I was sad, angry, even ashamed. I wanted to respond to this fence. I wanted to add affirmation, but I really didn't know how to. I wanted to spray paint Ephesians 4:2-6 over it, but with my luck I would have gotten busted for vandalism--it would have been worth it in my opinion. I will actually be sending in an Op-Ed to the local newspaper as a response to the fence though.
But why was it written in the first place? Of all the verses to put up why this one? I admit it was a better selection than Leviticus 18:22, since Leviticus is often overused. But are we at a point now in society where we begin to post religious "laws" in public in order to condemn people? Are we on the verge of a Christian state? The cult of persecution is dominating in our culture. Not to go off on a slippery slope fallacy, but what's next? Curfews, executions of the homosexuals and the artistic, and the subjugation of women again? It is the messages of untruth and intolerance and persecution that we need to stand up against. It starts with a fence, but lets make sure lives don't end up ending on a fence. Let action begin. The abuse and misuse of scriptures hurt people, so share what these scriptures have done and what they do in your lives.
Like many Californians I am heartbroken and devastated by the passage of Proposition 8. It is unfortunate and despairing that millions of voters agreed to enforcing discrimination, hate, and intolerance. The passage of Prop 8 has taken a tremendous toll on my heart and the hearts of many others.
But despite my pain I am not taking a passive position; however, I am also not taking the position of aggressor. I may be hurt and upset but above anything else I have class and heart of love. It is unfortunate that millions of voters don't understand the true meaning of selfless love, love without reservations, and love that does no harm--but I do.
I respond to my adversaries in the way they couldn't respond me: through love and grace. I am reminded by Christ in Matthew 5:44 to "love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you." A task that is certainly difficult in a time of pain and defeat, but we must try. Because if we don't then we achieve nothing. As Gandhi once said, "An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind."
As a country we have overcome injustice time and time again and this time we will certainly overcome again. Let us not be discouraged but rise as a community in true solidarity and we will repeal injustice and discrimination.
Today being a very important day in American history (and Californian for that matter), I thought I would share some words and thoughts of a person who is very close to me. My former youth pastor Jay has been a person that I have been able to come to and share my story with and know that I am going to be embraced with love and grace. Jay is committed to understanding the love and grace behind spirituality by being a living example of that. Today Jay voted against Proposition 8, here are some of his words and thoughts from his blog:
Gay marriage is another evolution of this fluid institution. Instead of rejecting a healthy and committed expression of love toward the another (singular), we ought to be embracing the decision and desire of homosexual men and woman to join into and make their own “moral expressions” of commitment to one another. Gay marriage is something to be celebrated and something to give thanks unto God for. I believe it is a beautiful thing for people to make moral commitments to one another, and for the Church to embrace, through active grace, those decisions.
This Saturday (November 1), TheCall ministry will occupy Qualcomm Stadium in San Diego, California in prayer and fast for the “deliverance of the homosexuals.” Lou Engel will deliver a chilling message that is rooted in untruth, intolerance, and spiritual violence. I received an email last week from someone connected to TheCall; I was told that this Saturday, TheCall will extend an invitation to the “homosexuals” to come forward and they will wash our feet as an act of love and peace.
The image of Christ washing the feet of the disciples in John 13 is very moving. It is the ultimate display of love, grace, and humility—TRUE humility. After Christ washes the feet of the disciples he tells them: “Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you” (v. 14-15). Jesus says to repeat this humble act; however, he does not say to do “what” he did but “as” he did. The disciples are to pass on the same teaching that Christ has done by conveying as he has, both in word and deed, the selfless love of God. The community Jesus has brought into being is to manifest the love of God that he has revealed through serving one another with no vestige of position or superiority.
I don’t disbelieve that Lou Engel and TheCall mean to reach out in love; although loving they have taken an abusive and spiritually violent role. They do not recognize the happiness and peace in my life and the lives of other LBGTQs, instead they seek to invalidate the faith gay and lesbian Christians have in Jesus and the journeys we have been on. Because of the messages they teach, they stand over the LGBTQ community in the position that their Christian walk and idea of sexuality are morally and spiritually superior. Their position and their messages are incongruent with the teachings of humility and selfless love because they seek to belittle the progress and journeys we have experienced as LGBTQ Christians.
Let’s LEARN what it means to be a Christian: it’s about a man who spoke love, not tolerance, but acceptance. The idea that we should “love the sinner, but hate the sin” is two-faced and spiritually violent. Let’s compare how many times the Bible attempts to discuss homosexuality to the number of times the Bible teaches us to care and love for our neighbors. Tell me about the Jesus you serve! The Jesus I know didn’t walk around saying “Oh no whore, can’t help you! I’m against prostitution!” I serve the Jesus who talks about love and grace. I understand spirituality and I understand the grace and kindness behind being selfless in my love.
Before you pull out your water basins I challenge you to look into your hearts and to look at where your actions come from. Instead, why don’t you take time to come out to our level and stand vigil with a community that advocates for love, equality, and true humility? Humble yourselves and step into our shoes to understand our journey. That is servant leadership, that is grace, and that is love.
As I was walking about the campus of San Diego State University, I saw loads of posters that caught my attention. They were for TheCall California. I was intrigued so I went home to check out their website.
Personally, I'm intimidated a bit by crusades and such, all goes back to my first encounter with Promise Keeper conventions. But my goodness, this is a crusade to "save the homosexuals" on a very large scale. I am sure that many organizations will be responding to this very large event in the area. I am in the process of networking to see if we can get a group of people that are willing to stand in vigil lines outside of the stadium.
I am not opposed to prayer, but what is being prayed for is something completely unnecessary. This event demonstrates an abuse of religion and spiritual violence. As a follower of Jesus Christ and his ministry, it's time to turn some tables in the temple.
This event is lead by Lou Engle, you may remember him from the movie Jesus Camp. Engle is describing this a battle between "light and dark." He says that
This is a time to resist mightily the spirit of peaceful coexistence and apathetic resignation in the face of this prevailing darkness.
It is messages like this, that suggest that LGBTQ individuals are less than normal. These messages suggest that we are the root of all evil. These messages are dangerous to the LGBTQ community. Words lead to action. By calling this a spiritual war between good and bad and designating the gay and lesbian community as "bad," Engle is sanctioning and condoning violence against the Queer community.
With marriage being such a hot topic in the Church, I've decided to share some of my own understandings of what the Bible says and doesn't say about marriage. Lately, there had been an increase in the amount of emails I get from people wanting know how I interpret the Bible when it comes to marriage (specifically same-gender marriage). I uploaded a brief video blog on the subject on my YouTube profile, but I also prefer to share my understanding in writing.
There are over 500 references to "marriage," "married," "husband," and "wife" in the Bible. Therefore it doesn't make it easy when someone is trying to find a quick simple explanation of God's intentions for marriages and relationships. The Bible does however, provide some helpful passages to help us understand a little more though.
Genesis 2:18, 21-24 The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The story of Adam and Eve is very often used when discussing marriage. Why shouldn't it be? They are the first married couple ever, aren't they? (Well unless you believe the Story of Lilith). Here we see the first wedding. We can conclude from this account in Genesis that marriage is God's idea, designed and instituted by the Creator. In these verses we also discover that at the heart of God's design for marriage is companionship and intimacy.
God conceivably could have created the first humans with any sexual orientation. But as we see it is recorded in Genesis that God created one male and one female with a heterosexual orientation. By doing so, God simultaneously satisfied two main goals: 1. He made it possible for the first couple to be fruitful and multiply. God used Adam and Eve to start the human race. 2. He satisfied the needs of Adam and Eve for companionship and made it possible for them to be involved in a loving partnership.
According to Genesis 2:18, God said, "It is not good that the man be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him..." This applied to only one man though, Adam. However, we might infer that it is a general understanding that most people should not go through life alone. Since gays and lesbians have the same capacity and need to love, one could conclude from this verse that homosexuals should also form loving relationships.
Genesis 2:24 describes one of the many possible models of marriage. The story of Adam and Eve is a description of one relationship, but not a prescription for all humankind.
Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor by all. This verse teaches us about community recognition and respect for matrimony.
Matthew 19:4-5 Jesus only addressed marriage in terms of divorce, commitment, adultery, respect, which is in line with the idea that treatment is the basis for morality. It is important to consider the social and legal evolution of marriage: power dynamics, family politics, economic status, tribal/foreign relations, patriarchy. Marriage has been dictated by social standards, not by God's created intent.
8 Types of Marriage in the Bible:
Nuclear, traditional model - one man and one woman
Polygamy - extremely common, Abraham to Solomon
Levirate marriage - law to ensure male progeny, "widow marriage"
Bond marriage - made female slaves of the primary wife a wives as well
Concubine tenure - matirmony minus the designation and certain privileges
Forced servitude, war conquests - conditional on sexual status of victim, virgins only
Slavery - patriarchal society, women were property, and so on
Rape - perpertrators had to pay a a dowry to avoid penalty (Deuteronomy 22:28-29; 50 shekels dowry)
These various types of marriage were not condemned in the Bible, in fact God showed his support for levirate marriage when he killed Onan for trying to avoid procreation. Most of these models bear potential for sexual abuse and yet they are never condemned in the Bible. Same-gender marriage does no harm to either person, a loving same-gender couple would really similar to the nuclear model (much like my husband and myself)
Same-gender marriage is never discussed in the Bible because the writers had no understanding or grasp of sexual orientation. There was no concept of sexual orientation because of the patriarchal society that dictated the lives and relationships of many. But the Bible has given evidence to loving same-gender relationships that include Ruth, Daniel, and David.
Ultimately, there is no definitely one truth out there for us to look up and say, "Yes! That's the answer!" We all need to spend time in our hearts and in prayer for God to reveal his plans for marriage.
Today I randomly stumbled upon the book of Amos. I think as Christians we often only think of the Old Testament in terms of the Bible stories we learned in Sunday school and what we know about the book of Leviticus. But today, I was flipping towards Joshua--perhaps my most favorite book in the Old Testament, Joshua is one of my Biblical heroes--but I ended up in Amos. Since I've only read through Amos once, I figured why not read through it again. I am impressed with what God had me stumble on.
Amos really concentrates on injustice, more than any other book in the Bible. Now there were many things that were wrong with Israel right now (ie. its two calf-idols), but Amos focused on what he saw for himself: the oppression of people! The people Amos addressed had plenty of "religion." They worshiped regularly and looked forward to "the day of the Lord" and they thought they were on track, but Amos had different news from God: "I hate, I despise your religious feasts" (Amos 5.21). God didn't want their sacrifices, their songs, etc. God was demanding justice! "Let justice roll on like a river, righteousness like a never-failing stream!" (5.24) God would destroy them for their crimes against humanity (of course this is Old Testament God).
I think the Book of Amos can serve as an example for all Christians. You would expect me to say it should be oriented towards "anti-gay Christians." But no. I think it's a message for all Christians. Even as gay Christians, I think we often forget about the oppression of other people. God doesn't really care if I read my Bible, sing worship songs, go to church, etc. Because it's nothing if I'm still be a hypocrite. Amos was just a simple farmer. Simple enough to notice a big problem. Many of us are often too caught up in the Evangelical scene to see the big problems.
I came across an 
I am currently finishing up a book by Heather Hendershot titled, 
The ex-gay movement and its survivors become the focus of the latest segment of "In The Life;" the segment draws on the stories of ex-gay survivors and faith leaders. The Ex-Gay Survivor's Conference that was held in Irvine, California is also featured in this segment; sharing the process that many of us have gone through to begin healing the hurts and wounds that were left through our experiences in ex-gay therapy.
This past Thanksgiving was no different when I went to Merced to be with my family for the holiday. People honked at our car, I could see people stop to stare in parking lots, etc. Well after a very stuffing Thanksgiving dinner my partner and I took a walk. It was saddening that people stared in disgust as we held hands, but we held ourselves well. As we continued our walk we found something that had left us speechless. It wasn't the dirty looks. It was a fence that had been tagged with spray paint. In bold white letters, "