Be A Man!

In my US History class we are currently learning about imperialism.  In our discussion about the social psychology of imperialism we discussed "manliness;" it was very important to display the qualities of being a man.  They had to accept the "code."   It was really the middle class' attempt to embody the benefits of being male.  Which is why organizations like the "Boy Scouts" were created, to instill the military virtues that made men, manly men.  I then came across a poem by Rudyard Kipling.  The poem "If" was written in 1895 by Kipling to his son.  A great example of the "code" and the qualities that the middle class was trying to embody:

If

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or, being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with triumph and disaster
And treat those two imposters just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with wornout tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on";

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings - nor lose the common touch;
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run -
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!

I began to think, "Are we still trying to enforce this code on men today?"  Is there still this pressure to be like this?  Kipling set the bar pretty high!  But really though, has anything changed?  I still remember when I was growing up and if I feel and scraped my knee, the first thing my dad would say is, "Stop crying!  Be a man!"  I still hear fathers say that.  Or why is that when athletic teams mess up, the coach is quick to call the team, "pussies," "sissies," or "girls?"

I feel that in the past 100 years very little has changed in terms of what we demand of men in our society.  Why are women unable to live by the standards that are set forth for men to achieve?  God forbid a woman is successful, strong, independent, and free, because she must be a lesbian!  One hundred years people!  Let's get with the 21st Century!