Reclaiming Our Aspirations

As a child I was always reminded by my teachers that I could grow up to become anything I wanted to be. I really took that to heart as I was growing up. I went through many different phases of wanting to become a lawyer, a doctor, Spanish teacher, veterinarian, Broadway actor, you name it, I probably wanted to be it at some point.

If I were to ask my 8-year-old self, even my 17-year-old self, if I could imagine being where I am today, the answer would be no. Even though I didn’t grow up to become the things I imagined, does that I mean I have to give up on those passions and dreams?


Lately I’ve been struggling with a bit of an identity struggle; actually frustration would be a bit more accurate description than “struggle.” Since coming out and forging my path as a queer Chicano Christian, I find that that has become all that people know and see me as. Somehow I have become the go-to religio-homo that people turn to for discussions on faith and sexuality. I should pause to say that I love my job and the work that I do. I do enjoy having the conversations that I engage in with different people. But is that all I am? Is that all I’m ever going to be?

I have been doing writings recently on cultural blending and the historical development of mestizaje. Through my reading of mestizaje I have learned the the answer to those pressing questions is no. No, that is not all that I am, nor all that I’m ever going to be. My friend Brian Gerald’s blog, Work In Progress, is all about his can-do approach to life, work, and society. I am reminded through Brian’s writings that I can still do everything I’ve always wanted to. There are so many other things that I enjoy doing and being a part of, including graphic design, makeup artistry, stage performance, and so much more!

I used to get really irritated with some of my queer friends that would say things like, “Yes, I’m gay, but I don’t let that define me.” My reasons for getting irritated are for another blog post at a later date. For me, yes, being queer has defined me for a very long time, and it always will. But it’s not the only thing that defines me. If I am truly to live my life in a way that is honest, freeing, and true to myself, then I need to acknowledge and celebrate all the different ingredients that go into making me who and what I am.

Find a way a to be who you want to be. Don’t let yourself be forced into one little niche. Part of living in a multicultural world is living out the diversity within ourselves. There should no reason why we have to hide all our different talents and passions. Those are things that make us unique. Who cares if your interests are too broad. The point is, they’re your interests and they’re what makes you, well, you!