There are over 500 references to "marriage," "married," "husband," and "wife" in the Bible. Therefore it doesn't make it easy when someone is trying to find a quick simple explanation of God's intentions for marriages and relationships. The Bible does however, provide some helpful passages to help us understand a little more though.
Genesis 2:18, 21-24
The Lord God said, 'It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him'...and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and closed up the place with flesh.
Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man. The man said, 'This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called 'woman,' for she was taken out of man.' For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.
The story of Adam and Eve is very often used when discussing marriage. Why shouldn't it be? They are the first married couple ever, aren't they? (Well unless you believe the Story of Lilith). Here we see the first wedding. We can conclude from this account in Genesis that marriage is God's idea, designed and instituted by the Creator. In these verses we also discover that at the heart of God's design for marriage is companionship and intimacy.
God conceivably could have created the first humans with any sexual orientation. But as we see it is recorded in Genesis that God created one male and one female with a heterosexual orientation. By doing so, God simultaneously satisfied two main goals: 1. He made it possible for the first couple to be fruitful and multiply. God used Adam and Eve to start the human race. 2. He satisfied the needs of Adam and Eve for companionship and made it possible for them to be involved in a loving partnership.
According to Genesis 2:18, God said, "It is not good that the man be alone, I will make a helper suitable for him..." This applied to only one man though, Adam. However, we might infer that it is a general understanding that most people should not go through life alone. Since gays and lesbians have the same capacity and need to love, one could conclude from this verse that homosexuals should also form loving relationships.Genesis 2:24 describes one of the many possible models of marriage. The story of Adam and Eve is a description of one relationship, but not a prescription for all humankind.
Hebrews 13:4
Let marriage be held in honor by all. This verse teaches us about community recognition and respect for matrimony.
Matthew 19:4-5
Jesus only addressed marriage in terms of divorce, commitment, adultery, respect, which is in line with the idea that treatment is the basis for morality. It is important to consider the social and legal evolution of marriage: power dynamics, family politics, economic status, tribal/foreign relations, patriarchy. Marriage has been dictated by social standards, not by God's created intent.
8 Types of Marriage in the Bible:
- Nuclear, traditional model - one man and one woman
- Polygamy - extremely common, Abraham to Solomon
- Levirate marriage - law to ensure male progeny, "widow marriage"
- Bond marriage - made female slaves of the primary wife a wives as well
- Concubine tenure - matirmony minus the designation and certain privileges
- Forced servitude, war conquests - conditional on sexual status of victim, virgins only
- Slavery - patriarchal society, women were property, and so on
- Rape - perpertrators had to pay a a dowry to avoid penalty (Deuteronomy 22:28-29; 50 shekels dowry)
Same-gender marriage is never discussed in the Bible because the writers had no understanding or grasp of sexual orientation. There was no concept of sexual orientation because of the patriarchal society that dictated the lives and relationships of many. But the Bible has given evidence to loving same-gender relationships that include Ruth, Daniel, and David.
Ultimately, there is no definitely one truth out there for us to look up and say, "Yes! That's the answer!" We all need to spend time in our hearts and in prayer for God to reveal his plans for marriage.
that is so strange...when i post videos directly from youtube on here, they never work. i'll look into it.
ReplyDeleteMarriage in the time that the Bible was written did not always mean what it meant today. It was term that did refer to unions and relationships (bonds that were to be recognized).
ReplyDeleteI agree that it very important to examine all scripture and to look at it very closely. That would looking at the cultural context of what it was written. In that time there was no sexual orientation concepts, but instead a cultural norm to make procreate. That is "men laying with men" is condemned in Leviticus, because it defied the customary laws to have children. When couples didn't have children they were seen as dysfunctional and often times women were abused because they wouldn't give their husbands a child. However, that is no longer the culture of today.
First off, Sodom was not about sex. And if it were, it still really wouldn't be about sex. The sins of Sodom range from inhospitality and opulence to adultery and strengthening the hand of evil. I'll post a blog about my full take on Sodom and Gomorrah soon.
ReplyDeleteBut you seem to be very caught up on what is sinful and what is not. To simplify the conversation, why don't we ask ourselves, "What is sin?" Clearly God doesn't just choose to make things sinful just for the heck of it.
When Christ was asked which commandment in the law was the greatest, He replied, ""'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, and with all your soul, and with all your mind.' This is the greatest and first commandment. And a second is like it: 'You shall love your neighbor as yourself.' On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets" (Matthew 22:34-40).
It is obvious that Christ created a filter of which we can clearly evaluate what is sin and what is not. It is obvious how sins like adultery and lying don't fit through the filter. But I ask you, how does the love I have for my husband separate me from God? I am still a firm believing Christian and a God-fearing man. Secondly, my love for my husband doesn't do any harm to my neighbor.
I agree, no sin fits through that filter. But my love for my husband doesn't separate me from God or do harm to my neighbor. My sexual orientation is not sinful.
ReplyDeleteI believe that we can do all things through Christ who gives us strength (Philippians 4:13). I spent over a year trying to change my sexual orientation through pastoral counseling and I ended up doing more harm than good to myself by trying to change a part of me that God made so innate. That testimony is so true of many, many, many individuals that have attempted to rid themselves of their same-sex attractions because they were taught so much that who they were was sick and sinful.
I have prayed about God's word as every Christian should. At the end of the day, when I stand before God and recount my steps in this life, I don't want a "well-done" for my theology. I don't think that anyone, from Luther to Calvin to Mclaren to Dobson have got God's theology correct. Theological issues have divided churches for centuries (need evidence, look at the splintering of denominations) and often these differences have caused us to stop being extensions of God's loving grace. In the end, I know God will recognize that I was listening to his guidance and following his purpose for my life.
I'd like to continue DIALOGUE with you on this subject aside from the blog, so you can email me at vdcervantes@gmail.com
In all actuality, I did seek God's counsel. I do believe that God has the power to make anything happen. I am gay after years and years of trying to pray that away. God commands us not to bear false witness. I am testimony to the fact that it is dangerous and spiritually harmful for someone to try to change their sexual orientation.
ReplyDeleteI do have to say though that there is nothing you could possibly share with me or "advise" me to do that I haven't heard, considered, or advocated for before. What I am hearing from you though is that you consider your own relationship with God to be superior to mine and that you are invalidating the journey I have been on and my own relationship with Jesus Christ.
yea its true you should not bare false witness,but come out and tell people your struggling with the sin of homosexuality,not living it with pride.im not invalidating anything,GOD did,GODS word said it was a sin,GODS word said it would separate between you and your God,so that he'd hide his face from you.(dont shoot the messenger)believe me,i dont consider myself superior to you in any way,i know what i am apart from Christ.the difference is,that i recognize my sin for what it is and i confess it.well theres aparently not much else i can say to you.i believe i have said everything the Lord has told me to tell you accordind to his word,i'll be in prayer for you to repent from this lifestlye.anything said here has been out of a burden i have for lost souls.nothing has been said out of hatred or anger.
ReplyDeleteLike I've said in my last comment, there is nothing you can say or assert that I haven't believed or said before because I once believed as you did. But I now know something different in my heart because God has allowed me to.
ReplyDeleteI have no doubt you feel love in your heart and believe you reach out in love. Although loving, you have taken the role of abuser. You stand over me in the position that your Christian walk and your sexuality are morally and spiritually superior to mine, and in the name of Jesus, you impose your sexuality on me. You do not recognize the happiness and peace I have. Instead your words seek to invalidate my faith in Jesus and the sincere journey I have been on. I will not allow myself to get drawn into an abusive relationship.
When you are ready to have a sensible adult conversation with someone you can respect as an equal, let me know.